Soul Plans and Unhealthy Dynamics

Soul Plans and Unhealthy Dynamics

Photo by Nate Foong

My sister’s husband gaslights her, and her confidence has plummeted this past year. Why would this be part of either’s Soul Plan?

When things are going well in our key relationships (or in those we witness), it can be easier to contemplate that we might have designed pre-birth to be in each other’s lives. When the dynamic is unhealthy, even debilitating, we shake our heads and dismiss the possibility that we might ever have “signed up” for this. I understand why it seems outrageous at first blush.

But here’s the thing: while we lay the foundation for potential dynamics, at the Soul Plan level, they are never set in stone. That’s one of the many ways that free will comes in. Your brother-in-law might have chosen to work on issues of power or control. Consider that in a past life, that he might have experienced severe powerlessness, and decided in this current incarnation to taste the other side of the coin. Let me add: this does not justify his behavior or protect him from consequences; it might simply help to better understand it. He is currently choosing to adopt a specific trait, which has implications for his own growth. And it brings your sister to an intersection: will she accept his behavior and assertions, and feel her confidence wither on the vine? Or will she eventually step up to call out the false belief he is perpetuating?

Both your sister and brother-in-law are magnificent souls who chose to come here to stretch and grow through earthly experiences. And if they have children, these little witnesses will be absorbing lessons of their own, which will shape the adults they become. This family unit will be a rich learning ground, no matter whether the couple stays together or separates.

Photo by Hans Hamann

Do you support the use of chemicals to evoke a Near-Death Experience (NDE) or Out-of-Body Experience (OBE)? 

I’m aware that people experiment with various chemicals and recreational drugs in attempts to induce an NDE or OBE. And I can understand the temptation. That said, I don’t advocate this; the intention may well be good, but it is simply too risky. There are many other ways to expand our consciousness than to risk physical, psychological, or legal fallout. Also, we can’t know for certain the portals we might be opening. (It’s the same reason I don’t touch Ouija boards, but each to their own.)

My OBE occurred unbidden. I believe it happened in a purposeful soul-planned way, even if it seemed random in its first instance. The timing, place, and way it unfolded had a clear message. I am certain the experience itself would have been difference if I had tried to “dial up” the Other Side for an OBE.

I heard you speak. You talked about souls swapping roles from one life to the next. 

Yes, soul contracts often involve parties swapping roles. 

Let’s say that you’re designing a Soul Plan to experience a serious physical condition. You want to explore this for the spiritual growth it entails. Imagine you’re talking with a soul on the Other Side, who will be one of your parents:

Photo by Anukrati Omar

[YOU]: I am going to experience a physical limitation in this upcoming life. I’m not sure yet if it will manifest as a result of an accident, or via a serious illness. I want to explore helplessness, frustration–likely depression and isolation too. I’m still deciding the timing, whether this happens in childhood or later in life. I want to form a carer/patient dynamic with you, whether as a family member, partner, or sibling. This might be entered into completely freely (meaning, once on earth), or with a bit of resentment from one of us, or both of us.

[PARENT] I agree to experience this dynamic as your parent. Over time, your condition will progress. Our relationship will twist and turn as we both feel the impact of your deterioration. I will be a fiercely loving advocate, but I might also silently struggle with anger or grief for the dreams I had for you. And for myself. I will face challenges, such as not losing myself entirely in my carer’s role. When seemingly every waking moment is consumed with meeting your needs, there will be days that I feel I exist only in relation you. There might be a constant push-pull of wanting to rescue you, and to spare you every heartache, while trying to preserve your autonomy.

[YOU] Still, while you and I will have an intimate experience of each other’s role, we won’t actually be in each other’s shoes. And so, I suggest that next time around, or in some future life together, we make a contract to return, and to swap hats. The carer becomes the patient, and vice versa. That said, the backdrop could be look very different. We could swap the parent/child dynamic, or we could design to be siblings or spouses. We could also skip the familial connection altogether and meet more formally as nurse/patient or home carer/patient. Similarly, the illness or condition that sparks the relationship could vary dramatically. 

[PARENT] Yes. This will not be “payback”. We will each emerge with a much fuller understanding of the dynamic, by experiencing both sides of the coin. We will not only evolve spiritually on the Other Side, but we will also take these insights into future lives. Once we master a lesson, the Other Side celebrates this, and does not require us to repeat it.


This post is part of our series of blogs on soul plans by Alicia Young. You can read her previous posts HERE.


Alicia Young is an Australian journalist and author who met her guardian angel at age three.  Her latest book, Visit from Heaven: A Soul’s Message of Love, Loss & Family recounts a transformative experience in which she met the soul of a little boy on the Other Side. Today, she speaks and consults on Soul Plans around the world, both privately and to groups (often virtually). Learn more at and send your questions to Follow her @authoraliciayoung and @SoulPlansAliciaYoung. This column does not seek to substitute professional support.  

One comment

  1. Great insights and alternative view Alicia that opens up the door to sit and reflect on so many possibilities. I love knowing that we can look at our situations with a completely different lens. Being part of the decision making process and gaining growth for our life path is very comforting and enlightening.

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