Soul Plans and Losing Friendships

Soul Plans and Losing Friendships

Photo by Bruno Raffa

Do you grieve differently since your OBE/trip to the Other Side?

Yes, my experience of grief has changed. As I’ve shared previously, my father passed a few years ago. Dad had dementia, and it was just as they say it is: a long goodbye, with the grief beginning far before his physical death. But even though we had lots of time to prepare, the immediate sting of loss was still (of course) very painful. 

At the same time, I was deeply comforted by the takeaways from my spiritual experience. I knew with quiet certainty that Dad had shed his frail body and his deep mental fog, and I felt grateful for that. He is now home, young and free of those earthly limitations. This eased my heartache considerably. It also helped to remember that he designed the timing and circumstances of his passing. And finally, it underscored for me powerfully that we will see each other again. I speak to him, knowing he can hear me.

My wider sense of grief or loss has also changed. While it’s never easy to feel a friendship evolve or even dissolve, I view them through a Soul Plan perspective. It can ease the sting of certain developments.

How specific do Entry points get? 

In short: as specific as we design them to be. When I was on the Other Side, I saw “Bobby” choose his parents. That’s the most fundamental (and far-reaching) choice, of course, as it’s the biological vehicle for us to be here at all. I also observed him agree to be a brother to other souls, and watched as they discussed their birth order.

Photo by Jenna Lee

I saw that we choose our era in time, our culture, and our socio-economic group. We might also choose to include a personal drive to propel ourselves upward, or else to find contentment amid the circumstances into which we’re born. Our culture often influences our physical traits, and perhaps a leaning toward a particular faith. The presence or absence of a faith seems to be an important decision–not because the Other Side advocates one belief over another, if any (in my experience, it decidedly does not), but because it’s a pivotal vehicle for souls to experience a belief structure or value system. As they grow, they face experiences which propel them closer or farther from that individual or group identity. Expectations around behavior are either embraced or rejected, either outright or with more nuance.

I have interviewed people who experienced designing to come here with only a basic framework. They arrive on earth with much of their life undecided. I believe these to be advanced souls. They’re a little like advanced, widely experienced hikers. They set off into the woods confidently, with none of the extras that a beginner might need to survive.


I was ghosted by a close friend. We shared breakups and job losses, two miscarriages and one divorce, and that’s just for starters. One day, she simply stopped returning texts. How do you read this from a Soul Plan perspective?

I’m sorry to hear what you have endured. Being ghosted is hurtful and bewildering. In the absence of any explanation (however brief), we’re left to second guess and re-examine the briefest conversations or events for clues. It’s a disheartening post-mortem. 

Consider this: Your friendship and the manner it unfolded was too significant to have not been planned. In turn, that means the rupture was something you each knew to be a possibility. What a magnificent soul you are, to be willing to experience these raw emotions. I hope contemplating this might ease the sting a bit. 

Photo by Michael Herren

Imagine you and your friend on the Other Side, and she is giving you a sense of what she is designing at a Soul Plan level: 

[FRIEND]: Let’s meet early on, either in high school or maybe our first jobs. We’re going to click strongly, and share lots of things: moments of joy and heartache and transition over the decades. I’m still deciding on my Life Theme, but it will likely involve Self-Worth and Emotional Independence. I am looking at being born into a family which is not especially affectionate or supportive. I will have the opportunity to buckle under this, or to grow from it. The soul who has agreed to be my father might leave when I am young. I will respond to this by developing an urge to leave others first before they can leave me. This could include you: I might stop contact abruptly without explanation. 

[YOU]: I will be bewildered, without a disagreement or anything to pin it on. I will likely shed tears—my tears will be equal parts shock, and indignation. 

[FRIEND]: Yes. If I do this, I will maintain my line in the sand: you will not be able to entice me back. You will be presented a choice: you can deny it or sweep it under the carpet. Or you can explore our dynamic further. You might notice an older sister/younger sister pattern beneath the surface. However abrupt the end of our friendship, it will free us to experience other ways ‘being’ in a relationship. I will also seek to see how survive without you as a key support in my life.

[YOU]: I will grieve you, and I will be angry. But I will have a choice as to how this changes me: will I move on, or will I grow depressed and close myself off to other friendships? Eventually, I will realize that I can look back and feel gratitude for the decades we shared, criss-crossing milestones from our 20s to our 40s. Our time together will leave an imprint on me.

This post is part of our series of blogs on soul plans by Alicia Young. You can read her previous posts HERE.


Alicia Young is an Australian journalist and author who met her guardian angel at age three.  Her latest book, Visit from Heaven: A Soul’s Message of Love, Loss & Family recounts a transformative experience in which she met the soul of a little boy on the Other Side. Today, she speaks and consults on Soul Plans around the world, both privately and to groups (often virtually). Learn more at and send your questions to Follow her @authoraliciayoung and @SoulPlansAliciaYoung. This column does not seek to substitute professional support.

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