Soul Plans and Acceptance

Soul Plans and Acceptance

Desert Spirituality
Photo by Ganapathy Kumar

Will Smith at the Oscars. What do you make of it from a Soul Plan perspective? 

I have received variations on this question from a swag of countries!

[In case you missed it: Chris Rock made a joke about Jada Pinkett-Smith’s shaven head and likened her to Demi Moore’s character in GI Jane. Pinkett-Smith has alopecia, a hair-loss condition. Will Smith strode on stage and slapped Rock across the face. He then returned to his seat, where he yelled obscenities.]

Let me state the obvious: violence is never the answer, as Smith acknowledged in his apology.

I watched, slack-jawed, along with everyone else. I’m fascinated that Smith designed to experience two monumental, dramatically polarizing moments in his life, in the space of forty minutes. One sparked global derision, the other, global acclaim (at least, it would have, in ordinary times.) I believe that he made a Soul Contract with Chris Rock to experience that exchange, with each party retaining free will as to how to react in “real time”. On that note, serious kudos to Rock for maintaining such composure. How differently it might have turned out.

The actor has written candidly about his violent childhood, and that entry point brims with insights around impulse control and anger management. None of us know the long-term fallout, but if Smith is blacklisted by Hollywood, he would likely wrestle with issues of identity. He has been banned from the Oscars for a decade. If he were no longer an actor (immediately after reaching his pinnacle), then who would he be? And would he be fulfilled?

The soul is always seeking to experience itself in a different light. Smith retains free will to decide his next chapter, as do we all.

Desert Spirituality
Photo by Ganapathy Kumar

There seems to be an emphasis right now on the need for Joy. Seeking Joy. Prioritizing Joy. I love a laugh as much as anyone. But don’t we come here to learn?  

It’s worth peeling back the messages we grew up as to why we are here. Is life supposed to be all about sacrifice, to earn our way to heaven? Is it about duty? And if the Other Side is about love existing unopposed, why would we come here to prioritize joy? Wouldn’t we just stay there?

Let’s consider different types of joy. There is joyful purpose and work. There is deep joy to be found in the service of others, as we share our time, talents, and insights–especially with those less fortunate. There is joy in performance, as we share our artistic gifts or sporting prowess, inspiring the next generation. Joy exists in every creative and exploratory endeavor, from sculpture to medical research. In these moments, our heartspace expands, and we raise our own vibration and the vibration of those around us.

Delicate Arch
Photo by Solo Travel Goals

My child died under horrific circumstances. I cannot accept that she would ever choose or accept that way to go. Or that time. Her wedding was only weeks away.

My heart is heavy for you. Please understand I am not seeking to tell you how to feel. I ask only that you consider “What if?” What if she planned this exit at a Soul level, as a wellspring of growth not only for her, but you, and her fiancé also? 

I respect that you saw your daughter as a young woman, with her whole life before her. You’re right; she was that person. She is also (present tense) a worldly soul who designed a full life. Within that framework, she designed the major events of her childhood and adolescence. She also planned to experience falling in love, from the first flush of romance to the heart-soaring surety of finding the love of her life. 

Imagine the two of you on the Other Side:

[DAUGHTER]: I want you to be my mother in this upcoming life. You will possess qualities to shape me as a girl and as a woman. And our personalities will chafe, especially during my teenage years. I will wrestle with who I am, and how to find my place in the world.

[YOU]: I agree to be your mother, to love and to guide you.

[DAUGHTER]: Mom, just as I am choosing you to be a fundamental part of my entry point for this upcoming life, I am designing a handful of potential exit points, too. One falls shortly before a major celebration for us all: my own wedding. If I choose this, the timing and manner of my departure will leave you bereft. You will be mired in bewilderment and anger. You will shake your fist at God. But please know, it will be my choice, even as it will look to the world like it will be something that “happened to” me. Please remember: our souls often leave our bodies before physical death. Will you honour my choice to leave at this time, despite the toll it will exact on you?

[YOU]: I will be shocked to my core. I will not only grieve your loss, but the loss of my future grandchildren. Your death will either bring me closer to your father or tear us apart. Either way, we will grow spiritually.

[DAUGHTER]: As counterintuitive as this appears, my death will ultimately be a gift to you. After a time, you will face a choice as to how and if, my death will define you. You could choose to be angry, or bitter, or one day, even forgiving. Likely all three, at different times. The way you will cope will be as individual as you: you might numb your pain with alcohol or withdraw into yourself. You might “run away” for a while, or pour your energy into criminal justice reform to enshrine stronger laws. You will evolve from this spiritually. You will be honoring my decision, even while struggling to accept the nature of it. I love you so very much, and I know you will emerge from this.

Delicate Arch
Photo by Tom Gainor

This post is part of our series of blogs on soul plans by Alicia Young. You can read her previous posts HERE.


Alicia Young is an Australian broadcast journalist and author who met her guardian angel at age three. She has written six awarding-winning nonfiction books (and is working on her seventh title). The latest, Visit from Heaven: A Soul’s Message of Love, Loss & Family recounts a transformative experience in which she met the soul of a little boy on the Other Side. Today, she speaks and consults on Soul Plans around the world, both privately and to groups (often virtually, in a Covid-19 world). Learn more at Alicia welcomes your questions at: (her central email address). This column does not seek to substitute professional support.


  1. Gloria

    I’ve known for some time about Helen Wambaugh (not entirely sure of the spelling) author of Life before Life.
    She did some research and found that not every soul choses her next life with difficulties etc.
    She found out that many souls come to this life with the plan made for them.

    I read her book ,unfortunately I lost it when I moved flats but it was very convincing. In fact I am convinced my life plan was decided then encouraged to take it on.

    She also said some souls get leaned on by senior souls, like” if you took this incarnation with such family and these challenges you would achieve this and that”, kind of heavy encouragement.

    I know this isn’t fashionable but considering the immensity of creation and the amount of variations it is not improbable that we don’t all chose our life plans.
    Could some of your team comment on this please? Many thanks Maria

  2. Nancy McGinty

    We have been so blessed in this country that anything short of traditional joy is considered a failure. A NDE twenty years ago enabled me to see how “bad things” are used to bring necessary changes. I know now that it always really does work out okay

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