Finding My Mother’s Cross

Finding My Mother’s Cross

A reader’s story of after death communication through dreams…

The following is a reader’s story of her experiences after her mother’s death. It has been lightly edited for clarity.

Polish city buildings
Photo: Valik Chernetskyi

My mother had died recently because of cancer. I had been quite a spiritual person until 15 years ago, after that I focused on my work as an entrepreneur so my life’s path became completely down to earth. I am also not religious and have never been at all.

When my mom died I was with her till the last moment. I was very much connected with her – working together and living almost next door – all my adult life and I am 43.

She was kind of a well deserved person in my country- she received a Golden Cross of Merit In 2003 from the President of Poland.

I wasn’t even aware of that fact especially because I was a young girl back then and I wasn’t looking for this Cross to be presented during funeral. Although I was asked by the funeral Company to bring it, I just didn’t pay too much attention. I looked in the house but didn’t find anything like a Cross. Also I knew every square meter in my mom’s house because she was in a wheelchair with oxygen pumps in her last months so all the house duties were on me.

A day before a funeral I had a very realistic dream – the first scene was a dark and scary sea with many cyclones. I was scared but the cyclones appeared to be behind a screen and not harmful for me. The second scene was my living cousin calling me to say hi to a girl named Dominika Krasicka who I didn’t know. I went to check who it was and I saw a group of children 16 -17 years old playing cards with very sad faces and all very pale – white skin, light red or blond hair. Now – after your (Dr. Moody’s) books I would call their faces glowing. I thought – what weird children…
Then the next scene was my deceased uncle (my mother’s youngest brother had died 2 years prior) who was very happy and young. He said to me “I have no time to talk to you now because I am playing golf” and then he said out of nowhere “It’s in a white cabinet”.

Fields and flowers, Poland
Photo: Freestocks

The next scene was my mom looking young and strong walking away from me like she just went out of somewhere and she was slowly walking along the street. I knew somehow what part of our city she was but it was unknown to me why we were in this location if we had nothing to do with this part of the city. A week later when I went back to the hospital she died in, in order to say thank you to the staff for caring for my mom. I went right instead of the usual left and realized that the other way from the hospital I am driving are the streets from my dream…

My mom in that dream seemed very confused, she didn’t know where she was-slowly looking around. Also she had the same pipes with oxygen which I carefully used to put in her nose during her illness because she was very scared of not being able to breath. When she started to move the pipes in the dream (like she used to do automatically to be sure they were there) I got scared that I didn’t have the oxygen spray which I normally used in those moments to put more oxygen in and to calm her down. But then I realized that she was walking by herself, young (late 40s in exactly the same clothes she used to wear back then) and healthy so she didn’t need my help anymore.
Eventually she pulled the pipes slowly away like she was surprised. She came briefly to herself and went away. I knew this was her business and I wasn’t trying to talk to her or hold her back. I was just observing when she was going away along the road in opposite direction to me.

The next day morning I was wondering what my uncle asked me to look for in a white cabinet. I wasn’t aware of NDEs or SDEs in that moment so what I focused was that he had asked me to look for something. I asked my family members about the white cabinet on the phone so it’s not something I thought I heard. I generally ignored the fact – thought I would wait until after the funeral to look up all furniture just in case. But in the evening I went to my mom’s house and my dad said he was closing her room so I decided to check the cabinets again (white) and to my surprise what I found was…the Golden Cross of Merit 2003. Literally in the trash bag… And it was beautifully presented during funeral.

Lanterns, St. John's Night, Poland
Photo: Erik Witsoe

After that my mom was in my dreams several times. Until the last one which was around 1 month after her death- since then I have never dreamed about her anymore. All the dreams I mention were just dreams – I knew they came from my imagination and trauma I had with her long and painful dying. But the last one was different. It was a conversation. I was sleeping but I knew I was in my bed (some would say I was awake but I am not sure about that) and suddenly I heard her voice. Here, I have to explain the circumstances – this day I was telling the story of my recent dream about the white cabinet to a friend of mine.
So I heard the voice of my mom like normal: was what you were saying true? And I started to be so focused because I knew I had to speak with thoughts not words so I somehow replied “yes” and she said “wow unbelievable so where was I then?” I thought “that’s weird” and said- “in a morgue in a hospital or no… maybe in at the funeral company…I am not was Saturday”. And then she said: “where is my grave?” And I said – “you don’t know? So you were not watching a funeral?” And I explained her location with big effort because it was not words but thoughts. She also said: “don’t talk with people about this experience because they will not understand.”
And I think I woke up in that moment.

I knew my mom was going to die, I was prepared for that. I am an entrepreneur and people consider me down to earth.
I can’t say how this experience influenced my life because it was so recent – my mom died 5 weeks ago. But I must say that I don’t suffer. She has been my world and all my attention was always on her. I thought that after her death I be collapse. Instead I feel stronger then ever and have received the power of assurance that it was all planned and reasonable and that I have another purpose in my life on which I have to focus.
I am a different person since these dreams.


Our thanks to Dagmara for sharing her story with us, and allowing us to share it with you. If you wish, you may contact her at


To read another story of dreams as a form of communication from the afterlife, read our excerpt from Claudia Carlton Lambright’s book: Just a Dream Away.